


Jack's Little Problem

by fanfic_roulette



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)
Genre: Alcohol, Fanfic roulette, M/M, Secretly a Virgin, Tentacles, Trapped In A Closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 11:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3207542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfic_roulette/pseuds/fanfic_roulette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Help! Get me out of here!” Came a muffled screaming from the closet as Davy Jones entered his office. He settled down in a plush office chair, sighing as Jack continued to bang on the inside of the door to the closet. The waves caused the cabin to rock gently as Davy Jones poured himself a glass of whiskey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jack's Little Problem

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is the product of a drunken collaborative effort that we have called [fanfic roulette](http://rabidcentipede.com/fanfic.php). Starting with a set of four prompts randomly selected from a list that we had generated, a five-person group took three-minute turns writing sections of this piece. Full disclaimer: we were drunk, not everyone necessarily knew the pairing or fandom, and it wasn’t always entirely clear what was going on. With that in mind, please enjoy.
> 
> **This fic’s prompts:**  
>  secretly a virgin  
> tentacle porn  
> injuries/sickness  
> locked in a closet

“Help! Get me out of here!” Came a muffled screaming from the closet as Davy Jones entered his office. He settled down in a plush office chair, sighing as Jack continued to bang on the inside of the door to the closet. The waves caused the cabin to rock gently as Davy Jones poured himself a glass of whiskey.

Davy Jones shook his head and laughed loudly, hoping that Jack would hear him.  He sipped at his rum, while the banging continued.  When it finally abated he approached the closet and opened it.

“I fucked up my arm,” Jack said as soon as he opened the door.

Davy Jones’s tentacle’s rippled in pleasure at the sight of the lousy swashbuckler in pain.  There was a streak of red on Jack’s arm.

“There are sharp objects in my closet,” Davy Jones said.

“That’s not all that’s sharp,” Jack eyed Davy Jones’s pants.

Davy Jones laughed, his tentacles dancing. He quickly changed the subject. “Oh, and why were you in there?”

Jack, holding a completely straight face, reached forward and handed Davy a stack of porno mags.

“I knew you had those in there, mate. I just wanted to check them out.”

Davy sighed.

“Jack, my lad, surely there are plenty of real live women out there for you to get off over.”

“Well, the truth is…” Jack’s flush was visible even beneath his tan and heavy layers of eyeliner. “I wouldn’t exactly, er...know?”

“What?” It took a moment for Davy to process, but it finally dawned on him: Jack Sparrow, self-proclaimed captain, man of the world, and insufferable jackass, was...a virgin.

“We--we don’t need to discuss this further,” Jack said hastily, leaping out of the closet and trying to shove past the tentacled captain. “I’ll just, er, be on my way back to the brig, then, shall I?”

“Oh, not so fast,” Davy chuckled, wrapping a tentacle around Jack’s wrist and dragging him back. He was, needless to say, more than a little intrigued by the way the other man shivered at the sensation of clammy suckers sticking to his skin

Davy smirked and drew him in close. “Jack Sparrow, it seems that you have a problem. Lucky for you, I know just how to fix it.” His tentacles reached out to Jack’s face, wrapping around his neck and into his thick locks, and Jack let himself be pulled into a kiss that tasted like sea salt and rum. His two favorite things. Jack was in his natural state of just-past-tipsy and still aroused from his interrupted closet time, and he plunged into the kiss with enthusiasm. Davy smiled against his lips, tentacles and hands now exploring every inch of Jack’s body, peeling off his clothing piece by piece. When Jack pulled back just enough to give him a shy smile and a nod to the adjacent bedroom, Davy shivered.


End file.
